I bathedand groomed. I laid out by the above-ground pool and tanned. I liked whathair treatments did for my now long hair. At night I was clean and readyfor whomever my scheduled boyfriend was. I rarely ate during the daysince my man of the evening would be taking me out on the town.Honestly, Philip had been correct. I was treated as a queen. I receivedmore compensation than anyone that lived with me. Filing and touching upyour nails, keeping your makeup fresh, and making sure your pantyhose ison straight was the extent of my work. There was fun dancing or seeingshows. My drinks and hangover pills were always free. The only hurdle toachieving my high pay was maybe twenty minutes of immersion acting.Dressing the part helped more than I could have imagined. When my boobswere added to my costume, it almost seemed natural. The large amount ofalcohol helped me relax, and knowing my mother and sister were cared formade the deed bearable. It was not long before I noticed things. I’m thinking of calling it the either the “Fuck You, I’ve Got Weed” Or “If It Involves Titties I’m In” Tour.I freaked myself out. I misplaced my left hand. When the jerking starts it typically starts with small movements in my arms or hands. I felt some of the fingers of my left hand moving, but I wasn’t moving them so I looked at it. It wasn’t there. It wasn’t where my brain said it was. Think about it. Where is your left hand, hmm? I had to search for my hand. It was over by my right hip. I’m like: “What the hell are you doing over there?”. That was weird.I didn’t update for several days because I was in a really dark place. My wife and I got into a major argument the day after I posted my last update that left me feeling like a broken ATM than a cherished human being. During the argument, I lost my temper and raised my voice. I didn’t threaten or gesture. I was meticulous to stay exactly where I was, but I still managed to scare my wife.I know what I am and I know what I’ve done.
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